The Material World

I was in the studio all day, and when I got home I discovered that the internet was all a-flurry with heterosexual people upset about Madonna’s performance, music and life:

• She’s not “authentic”
• She’s not “aging gracefully”
• She’s “trying too hard to be sexy”
• She should be sexy in DIFFERENT WAYS
• Doesn’t she realize that everyone hates her?
• Why does she like things that younger people like?
• Why can’t she blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Maybe straight people don’t understand Madonna because they think she’s a person.  Gay people know that Madonna has chosen not to be a person, and we can meet her on those terms.  I don’t expect her to have rational feelings or rational impulses.  I don’t expect her to arouse heterosexual men.  I don’t expect her to sing well, or write insightful lyrics, or even appropriate existing art forms in an ethical manner.

I just expect her to make bold, audacious, ridiculous statements that speak to broad, gay truths, and I expect her to do it with TOTAL SELF-POSSESSION, TOTAL SELF-CONFIDENCE, TOTAL FACE, and TOTAL FUN.  I expect her to TELL ME WHAT TO DO, and the things that I expect her to tell me to do are:

• DANCE (for inspiration)
• GET IT TOGETHER
• DON’T PLAY GAMES
• GO FOR IT
• YEAH, DO IT
• DO IT!
• DO IT NOW AND STOP COMPLAINING
• ARE YOU DOING IT YET?
• BE AWESOME
• BE EVEN AWESOMER
• DO WHAT YOU WANT
• DANCE!
• DANCE AWESOMELY
• DO IT AWESOMELY WHILE DANCING
• DON’T LISTEN TO WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU
• LOVE SOMEONE!
• HEY YOU, ARE YOU DANCING YET?
• NOW SCREAM!

As long as she is doing that, I am happy.

All of your other weird human concerns bore the shit out of me.

They bore the shit out of you too, you probably just don’t notice.